When we are asked what we love most about someone close to us, we often mention emotional support, loyalty, shared goal, or how that person makes us feel seen and valued. Truth-telling, especially of the uncomfortable kind, rarely makes the top of the list if it makes the list at all. And that is because truth, stripped of the identities of who speaks or hears it, is, by nature, uncomfortable. It reveals. It exposes. And when it is spoken, it can feel like hypocrisy to the self-aware teller and, like a personal attack to the wisest of hearers — even in the most loving of relationships.

Many a relationship today is measured only by how the parties make each other feel, not also by how they help each other grow. But dear oh dear, a fair mix of both is key. We speak so highly of patience, but there is such a thin line between noble patience and fearful silence. Patience grows when nurtured by commitment, reassurance, and trust. Without those, time doesn’t heal — it corrodes instead. It helps to not mistake silence for love, or confrontation for hate.

In loving relationships, we often say we want honesty. But what we often truly want is comfortable honesty and palatable truths. Yet the truest measure of a loving truth is not in how it makes one feel in the short term, but in how it helps one grow in the long term.

So, dear teller and hearer of truth: strive to focus on the truth more than the human saying or hearing it, and evaluate it on its own merit. On earth, every delivery of a truth is fraught with human imperfections. Then the hearer may speak the next truth: “Your delivery is flawed.”

Truths are a movement. The world does not end when you say one. One truth births the next. And in that rhythm, humility becomes our shared ground.